Reaching the Land of Uncle Sam

Finally I reached Charlotte on the April fool’s day and indeed it was an April fool. I went to the hotel and I was deeply shocked. I guess people out here don’t have an iota of idea of what “service” means. I was agitated, rather disgusted. My first impression or the halo effect (what psychologists say) was bad. But later I realized that is precisely why I and millions of my fellow brothers and their sisters are in this Uncle Sam’s land. We are here to provide service.

The hotel sucked. I was looking vaguely around for someone to carry my luggage upstairs, but there were none. So I had to do it all by myself. The room door was not opening due to some technical problem. I came down all the way (with luggage of course) to ask the lady at counter for help. She, with a typical lipstick smile, told me: keep on trying sir. It will work. “What the fuck!!!” I said as a monologue because I dint have the balls to convert mono to dia on the very first night in US.

Anyways I kept on trying, the door refused to open up to an Indian. I gathered all my courage and left my luggage upstairs at god’s mercy and came down to hurl at the lady “It’s not working mam. Could you, for Christ’s sake, change the card or the room.” This worked. I bet she was a god-fearing (or to be precise, Christ fearing) pious lady. She decided to call for a help. Now I knew why she was hesitant. Appeared a man who is two times in width of Shaquile O Neil and same height of Yao Ming. He scared the hell out of me. Whatever, he did help me out to open the door and changed the card.

The room was a non-smoking one (Dint I tell you that?). I just dumped my baggage in and rushed out for a smoke. I dint have any for last 32 hours. Even the Magic Johnson look-alike cab driver told me “Don’t smoke in the cab Maaan….” & I definitely obliged. Did I have any other option??? If those 7 feet, 300 Lbs hunks politely ask any of you “Maaaaan!!!! Pull your pants down and bend over. I just wanna check how Indian arse looks like”.. aren’t you going to oblige????

So down came I in a desperate need for a smoke. Now there was another problem. It seemed the entire hotel did not know there existed something on earth called Matchboxes or lighters. I wonder they still use those stones. So I was searching around for the lighting equipment. Then I saw a blonde coming down from a SUV. I sang “Come on baby light my fire…”, but she was not interested as she dint have enough equipments.


I was stranded at the entrance of the hotel, desperately looking for a “Lady with the lamp” For that matter, even a gentleman would do. I just thought of a gentleman and came three good Samaritans. My good old friend Avik, accompanied by two other “desis”, Vinod & Sumit came to meet me. And good lord, they had fire. So the first puff after a long 32 hours and in the land of “Manhattan, Basketball, Mighty Dollar and Wal-Mart”. But gosh … I thought it would be different. But I felt the same way when I used to have a puff after returning to hostel from home after 2 days in the land of “Ragging, Delirium, Hatchets and Chai-shops”. Indeed, some feelings do not change with geographical boundaries.

Sumit had a car, the lifeline in this land where public transport is as non-existent as a skyscraper in Kolkata. We went to some burger joint and had burger, coke and chips. Now I got the feeling of being in USA. The burger. A sophisticated and yes, cheesy version of our indigenous Wada-Pav. But it tasted good after I almost lived on diet coke for 30 hours. The food of Delta Airlines was too bad. So I did not have a morsel for long and the burger was heaven for me.
However, I was swept off by the welcome from my desi bhais. They brought a bottle of Jack Daniels and we made merry. It was a zephyr for me after a not-so-good first impression of Uncle Sam’s Land. It was almost 10:30 at night and bed was calling me. Tomorrow is going to be a hectic day. We need to set up the flat that Avik rented for both of us. I really don’t want to extend my stay at Extended Stay anymore